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“It’s just epilepsy, She looks fine”

I contemplated not sharing this but I think its important to share the highs and the extreme lows we experience.

Last night at 2330 I walked into the girls room after Abigail screamed out to witness the last moments of a severe seizure. Even after watching so many of these it still causes my heart to skip a beat or several.

It has been months since Abigail's last nocturnal seizure. Nocturnal seizures commonly occur during sleep and are the leading cause of SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy).

For the first time ever I felt confident I could handle this. Automatically clinical training kicked in and I had done a set of neuro obs, done a resp rate and checked that her heart rate was strong and steady. She was confused and had significant muscle weakness as well as a raging headache. The seizure definitely exhausted and scared her. I picked her up and realised that she had weed and pooped herself as well. She was so embarrassed but let me change her nappy. I placed her in bed with Jason in case this seizure led into a cluster and put her emergency medication within reach. Slowly she started to come out of the post ictal phase but was still so confused and was forgetting words. She finally fell asleep again and kept one hand on either Jason or myself all night.

I stayed awake half the night to make sure that it was a once off event. Today Abigail was so emotional, tired and forgetful. With each seizure comes cognitive regression to a degree which means she has to sometimes relearn tasks or her short term memory declines for a while.

As naughty as both girls were today I am just grateful to have them to hold and love regardless of what life throws our way. Today wasn't the ideal way to spend our 12 year anniversary Jason Robert Quabba but I am thankful everyday to have you by my side navigating this stint called parenting.

The Medicalised Mumma x

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