The Decision Maker

Posted by Danica Quabba on

Hey all, wanted to chat today about making decisions for your kids.

Now we all make decisions on the daily for our kiddos; toast for breakfast, this outfit to wear, daycare today! Then the big decisions like schooling, holidays and changing the family dynamic by adding siblings. These are all normal decisions!

What I wasn't prepared for is the medical decisions and consent. Do you consent to this? What would you like us to do if this happens? This is the next test when would you like to schedule it? Which treatment would you like to go with?

How do you decide between two evils basically! I continuously have people say to me I don't know how you and Jason do it. Ummm not like we have a choice, Abigail needs us to be her voice, to understand for her and most of all advocate for her. Make no mistake these choices don't come easy and I can guarantee you I am in tears everytime we have to make a life changing decision for her.

I am in a state of constant anxiety over what is 'right' for Abigail and each decision we make we also have to think about how it affects us as a family unit. I make sacrifices daily to accommodate Abigail's needs, to the point some days I have nothing left to give and yet people still have the audacity to question my agenda.

Each decision I make for my child is never done in haste and I can guarantee you I will stay up that night reading medical journals until I fall asleep, weighing up pros and cons and trying to find a better way, only to wake in the morning to do it all again until I am completely mentally exhausted. In all honesty I could probably tell you more about her epilepsy than most doctors at this point. I am lucky that my field of study has equipped me with the basic skills and knowledge to cater to most of her home medical needs and for what I can't do we have a fantastic team behind us now who I know have our backs.

Alot of people are quick to judge the decisions we have made for Abigail, but trust me every criticism you have is nothing we haven't gone over already. Each decision we make is in the hope that when she is old enough she knows we made the best possible decisions for her life with what we were given. Jason and I are far from perfect parents but we try our damn hardest to make sure the life our girls have is as normalised as possible and most importantly to show them how much they are loved. We would go through hell and back for our girls to make sure they have the best life possible.

I say this with every post but be kind to one another and be mindful of the way your words and actions can have effect. For those interested in Abigail's journey with her epilepsy, Epilepsy Queensland will be releasing a feature article on Abigail next week so keep an eye out.

The Medicalised Mumma x

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